I Am Not

I am not a good artist.
I am not a great housekeeper.
I am not a good correspond-er.
I am not a mother.
I am not a genius.
I am not as pretty as I used to be.
I am not a fantastic writer.
I am not a good dancer.
I am not a scientist.
I am not good at keeping potted plants alive.
I am not a morning person.
I am not a community activist.
I am not in shape.
I am not working in the job I'd like.
I am not important.
I am not a triathlete.
I am not a scriptorian.
I am not perfect.

I am not, in fact, many things that I try to be, or that thought I would be at one time, or that I wish I were.  And that makes me really sad sometimes and really angry other times.  The things I am not remind me of the places where I don't quite fit in and the tasks that I can't quite complete and the things I have not accomplished.  It's very easy to dwell on all of these things that I am not, and very easy to let them hold me back.  But there are some other things that I am not:

I am not a failure.
I am not finished learning.
I am not giving up.

While these things do not make the other things any easier, or any less sad or infuriating, they do give me some hope. They help me to remember that maybe I am not so hopeless after all.