Maybe it has an Undetectable Extension Charm?

Around 2:00 this morning, I started composing a new blog post in my head.  It is on a topic so fantastic, so horrifying, and so perfect, all at the same time!  But it will have to wait for next time.  Maybe tomorrow or something when I go into exile in my own home (read: Bryant is having a bros only video game night.  My thoughts on that later too.)  Anyhow, so I was getting ready to write the above amazing blog post by checking my email, facebook, pinterest, websudoku.com, you know, the important things, when Bryant asked me if I could hunt down my camera picture-uploader-cord-thing so he could use it to charge some of his video game controllers for video game night.  Having not used it in a couple of years (oops), I only knew its approximate location, but I went to hunt it down anyway.  (Why do I encourage this?)

After looking through my drawers of Stuff (with a capital S) in my office closet and coming up with nothing, I moved on to the dresser full of games, where I found an ugly pair of earrings once given to me by a student, and my camera's battery charger, but no picture-uploader-cord thing.  I moved on to the next (un)likely place, my bedside table drawer.  Was my picture-uploader-cord thing there?  No, it was at the bottom of one of my filing cabinet drawers, but this is what WAS there, which, it turns out is more appalling interesting anyway:

LOTS of receipts.  I was too embarrassed to count them all.
3 home-made cards from Bryant (maybe that's why I encourage this <3 )
One vintage Harrison family photo card from Uncle Frank
5 other miscellaneous other photos
5 toy mice, no doubt confiscated in the middle of the night from a psycho, nocturnal cat
1 2 dollar bill
2 necklaces
2 fan pulls
lots of clothing tags (cause where else would I put them after removing them...?)
1 burnt-out flashlight
1 tide pen
1 car cigarette lighter thing
1 old cell phone
1 ear-piece that goes with the old cell phone
2 complements of packaging for tights
2 broken-off pieces from a vintage mirror frame
1 glasses cleaning cloth
1 zipper pull
1 tire valve cap
1 spool of yellow thread
3 hair elastic things (one with yellow flowers)
4 bobby pins
1 pirate eye patch
2 teal pills of unknown effect/origin
1 fox 40 whistle and lanyard
3 pens (one actually even worked!)
1 scripture-marking pencil
1 twig
6 buttons
2 safety pins
1 functioning flashlight
1 stray length of elastic thread

Yikesies.  Pretty impressive for a 10x12x2.5" drawer, right?  Don't judge me.  So after carefully cataloging everything and shoving every last item back into the drawer getting rid of the unnecessary flotsam, I felt that it obviously needed to be shared with the world post haste.  The other post will probably be more complete after tomorrow's adventures anyway.

(Just because I know you're dying to know, it involves a cat, a Disney movie, and 2 full bio-hazard suits.)