Maybe it has an Undetectable Extension Charm?

Around 2:00 this morning, I started composing a new blog post in my head.  It is on a topic so fantastic, so horrifying, and so perfect, all at the same time!  But it will have to wait for next time.  Maybe tomorrow or something when I go into exile in my own home (read: Bryant is having a bros only video game night.  My thoughts on that later too.)  Anyhow, so I was getting ready to write the above amazing blog post by checking my email, facebook, pinterest, websudoku.com, you know, the important things, when Bryant asked me if I could hunt down my camera picture-uploader-cord-thing so he could use it to charge some of his video game controllers for video game night.  Having not used it in a couple of years (oops), I only knew its approximate location, but I went to hunt it down anyway.  (Why do I encourage this?)

After looking through my drawers of Stuff (with a capital S) in my office closet and coming up with nothing, I moved on to the dresser full of games, where I found an ugly pair of earrings once given to me by a student, and my camera's battery charger, but no picture-uploader-cord thing.  I moved on to the next (un)likely place, my bedside table drawer.  Was my picture-uploader-cord thing there?  No, it was at the bottom of one of my filing cabinet drawers, but this is what WAS there, which, it turns out is more appalling interesting anyway:

LOTS of receipts.  I was too embarrassed to count them all.
3 home-made cards from Bryant (maybe that's why I encourage this <3 )
One vintage Harrison family photo card from Uncle Frank
5 other miscellaneous other photos
5 toy mice, no doubt confiscated in the middle of the night from a psycho, nocturnal cat
1 2 dollar bill
2 necklaces
2 fan pulls
lots of clothing tags (cause where else would I put them after removing them...?)
1 burnt-out flashlight
1 tide pen
1 car cigarette lighter thing
1 old cell phone
1 ear-piece that goes with the old cell phone
2 complements of packaging for tights
2 broken-off pieces from a vintage mirror frame
1 glasses cleaning cloth
1 zipper pull
1 tire valve cap
1 spool of yellow thread
3 hair elastic things (one with yellow flowers)
4 bobby pins
1 pirate eye patch
2 teal pills of unknown effect/origin
1 fox 40 whistle and lanyard
3 pens (one actually even worked!)
1 scripture-marking pencil
1 twig
6 buttons
2 safety pins
1 functioning flashlight
1 stray length of elastic thread

Yikesies.  Pretty impressive for a 10x12x2.5" drawer, right?  Don't judge me.  So after carefully cataloging everything and shoving every last item back into the drawer getting rid of the unnecessary flotsam, I felt that it obviously needed to be shared with the world post haste.  The other post will probably be more complete after tomorrow's adventures anyway.

(Just because I know you're dying to know, it involves a cat, a Disney movie, and 2 full bio-hazard suits.)

Of Hangers and Willpower, Part 2

Disclaimer:  The following is what I'm prettt sure is a text book example of a first-world problem.  Proceed without [too much] judgement...

This week I have faced a daunting, emotionally painful, harrowing, and at times, dangerous task.  The dreaded closet clean-out.  Ugh.  It gives me the willies just thinking about it!  The problem with the dreaded closet clean-out lies in a multitude of areas, but I suppose that the largest (and strangely, easiest to admit) of these is that fact that I like my stuff (or at least, did at some point)!  If I like it, why should I get rid of it?! Makes sense, right?  Some people just don't understand the attachment one develops to one's wardrobe.  (Do I sound shallow yet?)
Dear husband has scoffed at the above theory since the day I met him.  His hints that a closet purge was imminent were getting less and less suggestive and more and more proclamatory.  I finally capitulated when, in the search for a missing hiking boot, I unearthed approximately three pairs of shoes that had somehow fallen off of my mental wardrobe inventory.  Also, my compulsive need to fold things was beginning to beat on my brain.
So, it was with great sadness that I parted with the black column dress I've had since the tender age of 15.  I swear it looked at me with betrayal in it's eyes, reminding me of the many times it was so perfect, as I gave it one last caress and cast it into the pile.  So mournfully did I sever ties with that white, paper-thin blouse, you know, the one that I wore that day when everything went my way?
Anyhow, the hardest part is now behind me.  And despite the anguish of the "purge," I feel better now.  Things are more organized, more accessible, and now there is room for  new stuff!  ;)

Of Hangers and Willpower

Today I went to TJ Maxx.  I love that place.  Possibly, I love it a little too much.  Such bargains!!  I mean, I can go in for a $4.99 pair of pantyhose, and they will only cost me $75!!  (The Calphalon stockpot and the cute clearance skirt are bonuses with the purchase of every pair of green polka-dotted tights, I swear!)

But today was different.  Today there was monstrous effort.  It went like this:

"I am only here for a hanger"
[Walk into store]
"I am only here for a han- Ooh!  That coat is gorgeous!  And it's so sof- I am only here for a hanger."
"I am only here for a hanger."
"Ooh! They added more clearance dresses!  I wonder-no!!"
"I am only here for a stupid hanger.  I am only here for a hanger."
"I am onl- Oh, I bet that shelf would work next to the TV for the movies.  Is it too tal- Ugh!! I am ONLY here for a hanger >:l "
"Hanger.  I am only here for a hanger.  I bet they would be over by where that chair that I want is. I love that chair, yes there it is, in all its glory.  It's not that expens-  HANGER!!!!"
"I AM ONLY HERE FOR A HANGER!  I AM ONLY HERE FOR A *^#$&*% HANGER!!"
"Here they are!  Here is my hanger, it is in my hand.  I am now going to walk responsibly and frugally to the cashier and buy my hanger, after which I will exit the store!"
[turns away from the hangers]
"Oh!  Why, here is the clearance shoe section!  Don't mind if I jus- JUST GO BUY YOUR STUPID HANGER!!!"
"This is getting ridiculous.  Is it so hard to just come in and pick up an insignificant little han-SPARKLY!!  NO, NO SPARKLY STUFF.  HANGER!!"


You get the basic idea.  Then end, my $6.99 hanger only cost me... $6.99!!!  That's right.  I only went in to buy a hanger and the only thing I bought was my stupid hanger.  You may now congratulate me.

TEXAS

I usually keep my ipod on shuffle when I'm driving. I do this because A. I'm to lazy to be bothered with figuring out exactly what I want to listen to and B. because live is just that much more amusing when one hears Chopin, The Deftones, Raffi, and Yeah Yeah Yeahs back to back.

A few weeks ago, this song popped up on the tune box (YOU MUST LISTEN TO THIS SONG AT LEAST ONCE WHILE YOU READ THIS):




Now, Bowling for Soup is not a band that I would say that I really like so much. It's just kind of fun to listen to when I'm feeling nostalgic for my sophomore year of high school. It's kind of a Warped Tour wannabe punk teenager sort of a band.

That said, as the song was pumping through my speakers, tears began pumping from my eyes! Not because I'm that nostalgic for high school, because really? Really. Turns out, this has happened more than once.Why?   HOLY COW I MISS TEXAS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I've been thinking lots about all of the things that I love about Texas and I thought I'd share an incomplete list with you.
So in not really any particular order:

• The University of Texas. Hook 'em Horns!!!!
• bluebonnets
• REAL barbecue
• Barton Springs
• Big Sky
• Austin City Limits Music Festival
• mexican free-tailed bats  (all three million of them under the Congress St. bridge)
• mexican food (We tried Vermont's version of this once.  It wasn't even laughable.)
• mexicans
• Summer is hot like it should be!
• I love Dove Pool
• The Whole Foods company headquarters (conveniently located a block from Bryant's old apartment.)
• Pools, pools, pools, and more pools
• The Comal River
• Freebirds
• Amy's Ice Cream (Darth Chocolate Ice Cream?  I'd almost eat it just for the name!)
• Snow Cones (apparently they don't exist in New England?  You'd think with all the snow it might occur to someone up here?)
• Not wearing a jacket until November-ish
• Southern accents (Bahston accent?  Naht pretty.)
• Dental hygienists who overdo it on the eye makeup
• Fifty year old women who overdo it on everything
• The I-35 corridor (really?)
• Bluebell
• Two-stepping
• cowboy boots
• The Keller bike path
• Clint Small Jr. Middle School
• H-E-B
• The Zilker kite festival
• Deep fried __________
• Texas culture

I could, of course, go on, but I'm starting to get choked up again.  Don't mess with Texas, folks.  For realsies. \m/

Creeepy!!

Last night as we were getting ready for bed, husband called me from the bathroom and said, "I think there's some kind of animal outside!" I wasn't particularly alarmed, as our house backs up to a forest (the neighbors even saw a bear in our back yard a few months back!) and we frequently see wildlife, but seriously, if the stupid deer eat one more of my lettuces from the garden, I will be shoveling snow in my brand new Bambi-print snow gear this winter!! Anyway. Husband then added that it sounded like some sort of growling or something. Intrigued, I grabbed the big flashlight and went outside to chase off the critter. As I stepped away from the house, I saw a flash of something run off into the woods at the back of the yard. I was about to turn around and go back inside, but the beam of my flashlight caught something: two eyes. They were just inside the tree line and whatever animal they belonged to just sat there staring right at me, creepily reflecting the light from my flashlight. I ran toward it a few steps and yelled to see if it would go away, but it just stayed there, motionless. Then of course my mind flipped to this:



Needless to say, I picked up my stone shard and rushed the creature, barely escaping with my own life. Or maybe I just ran back inside and hid under the covers. In any case, I am happy to report that my garden survived another night.

Things I Don't Feel Like Doing.

I didn't sleep very well last night. Husband said this morning that it's really my own fault due to my (alleged) allergy-induced snoring. Suuuuure. Just because he wakes up because he's "absolutely sure" he must be sleeping next to a bear doesn't mean he has to wake me up too, does it? Last time I checked, you're not supposed to poke sleeping bears in their squishy midsections, right? Something about having your head bitten off?

Anyhow, it's beautiful outside-I can tell from the puffy white clouds that dot the blue sky and the trees swaying gently in the breeze! I saw it all from my window! And my computer says it's a lovely 79 degrees. Just the perfect time to seize the day!...? Do I have to? I mean, yesterday I had the septic tank pumped, folded laundry, made jam, looked for jobs, and did some research for a project. So that means I'm off the hook for today, right? Maybe if I complain about all the things I ought to do, they'll just go away. Let's give it a whirl:

My To-Do List Things I Don't Feel Like Doing:

• Straighten my office. There's a path from the door to the computer. What else is needed?
• Take a shower. But what if I go do something sweaty? I'll just have to do it again later.
• Do something sweaty. This includes, but is not limited to, mowing the lawn, weeding, various indoor and outdoor projects that involve swinging a hammer, making sawdust, climbing a ladder, thinking...
• Make lunch. Sounds like a lot of work.
• Buy lunch. See next bullet point.
  
• Run errands. Please see the second bullet point.
• Read. I'd just feel guilty for not doing something more productive.
• Clean out my closet. This is a necessary painful task only to be taken on when one is feeling courageous and incredibly industrious. Obviously not a task for today.
• Go grocery shopping. Sounds a lot like something that requires a shower. And thinking.
• Go to a movie. Shower? Plus, I mean, how many times can one really get away with seeing Harry Potter before having one's husband roll his eyes at one? (Answer: exactly one.)
• Catch up on So You Think You Can Dance. TV? As if reading wouldn't make me feel guilty enough!
• Make bread. Again, sounds like a lot of work.
  

Ok, I'm spent. I could probably list some more things, but my actual to-do list is in the kitchen. You see my problem, obviously. My kingdom for a poolside lounge chair, a fashion magazine, and no to-do list!

Happy Thursday.

HOORAY, I'M A LLAMA AGAIN!!!

Ok, so maybe what I really meant was something like, "Aren't you all soooo glad I'm blogging again?" Yes? But somehow llamas seemed better. So I’ve been a little lazy lately I've been pretty busy lately. I really have been. Keeping track of 24 relatively independent eleven-ish year-olds and their needy parents (in some cases) can take it out of you!

But now it's summer! Summer? I love summer! Despite the positive-ish attitude I managed to drag with me throughout the winter, I just love love love summer. Here are some of the reasons why.

1. Bare feet!!! Now, I love shoes a lot, please don't get me wrong, but really it's just because they are pretty. You know, shoes like those stiletto pumps painted that certain red that only Stuart Weitzman does-those ones that make my heart go pitter-patter... But bare feet!!! Chipped red nail polish (sorry, Mom)! Good, dirty, calloused, happy, bare feet!! I feel like I should be writing a haiku about them or something.

2. Yard-work!!! Yard-work? Yes! There's just something about digging in the dirt that makes the world seem so much better. The same way that those long, straight swaths of freshly mowed grass calm me down and how me and my sidekick Asparagus Fork sock it to those dastardly dandelions. Not to mention watching my garden grow.

3. Have I really made it this far without mentioning the temperature?! Do I really need to?! I went to target this afternoon, and when I stepped out of the store I was immediately enveloped in the sweltering, steamy, sunshine-y, 98 degree summer day. I can't begin to put into words how much I loved it. I would so much rather step outside into the hot, heavy, and humid of the summer than the piercing, biting, bitter, and downright obnoxious cold that taunts new england throughout the winter.

4. Naked Time! Ok, not really naked time, but I do love not having to constantly wear a sweater and pants.

5. And speaking of Harry Potter, HARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTER!!!!!!

5. Hydrangeas. Especially the deep blue-purple ones.

6. Grilling. Who needs a stove when you can cook outside with a mere fraction of the mess?!

Speaking of grilling, it's dinnertime. Happy Summer!

My favorite element is chlorine

It is. Why chlorine? Why not something vitally necessary like carbon or fun to play with like nitrogen or sodium? I'll tell you why. We'll just go ahead and start at the tender age of 14ish and my freshman year of high school (we could start earlier, but the numbers are easier this way).

Every morning (except Sunday) I would rise early, often before the sun (it's not morning until the sun's up, btw) and haul my tired buns into the car and 3.5 minutes down the road to the pool for a two hour workout with my high school (or in the summer, club) swim team before school. Every day after school and homework I would haul my somewhat less tired buns once more to the pool for the "real" workout with my club team. Weekends were often spent at swim meets, and summers were spent at swim practice, teaching swimming lessons, or lifeguarding. And despite showers after each practice, my skin retained that unique chlorine-y perfume even when dry!

So let's do some math. 4 hours of practice 5 days per week, plus 2 more hours on non-meet weekends. That's 22 hours per regular week. We'll go ahead and kick it up to 35 if it happened to be a meet weekend. Let's multiply those 22 hours per week by 36 weeks in a school year. We get 792 hours per school year, times four years gets us 3,168 hours! That's not including entire weekends camped out on the pool decks of steamy natatoriums at meets, or summers, or the 4.5 years I spent playing water polo in college.

Some things just become a part of you.

So tonight as I was stressing about the rain and its continuing invasion of my basement, I found my self cleaning the bathroom as a distraction. No sooner had I squeezed the trigger on my chlorine bleach-based cleaner than I felt my nerves unclench and the furrows in my brow smooth out. I breathed in the chlorine and it felt comfortable and relaxing. (Don't worry, I'm not going to start huffing harsh cleaning chemicals)

But some things just become a part of you.

Grown Up?

I came to the very grown-up realization today that sugary cereal (unless it is H-E-B brand Cinnamon Toast Crunch) just isn't where it's at. Growing up at my house, sugary cereal was a very rare, 0nly-on-your-birthday-or-visiting-grandma sort of treat, and boy, did we love it!

But this morning whilst breaking my fast over a bowl of pink-and-purple-dyed Berry Berry Kix, I realized that it's really not that great. I mean, it looses its crunch by the time I can get a spoon out of the drawer, it tears up the top of my mouth, and that weird sugary coating it leaves in my mouth? No, thanks! Give me a bowl of Grape Nuts and a banana any day!

So, I'm kind of sad that no one told me how much I need my plates that I don't need. I justify myself in still wanting them because I'm close to positive that if anyone actually read my blog they really would have no choice but to agree how wonderful they are. Sigh. On to other matters.

1. My sister has finally gone public with her little bundle of news. I can't WAIT to tie-dye onsies for the little lemon. Or, foreseeing my lack of initiative to see that project to the finish, I can't wait to find all sorts of really cute stuff to think about buying. Non-committal enough? But seriously, I'm way excited on all sorts of levels.

2. Poor husband spent the w h o l e of last week sick. I'm convinced it was some nasty flu, even if the doctor disagreed. Fever, cough, chills, gastrointestinal pyrotechnics, the works. At least the doctor gave him some souped-up cough syrup. We are both happy to report that he is on the mend! It was probably the healing powers of some lovingly-made-by-my-visiting-teacher chicken enchiladas and a guardian kitty or two.



3. We spent a BEAUTIFUL pre-Valentine's Day weekend in Vermont. It was cold cold cold, but the snowy scenery was pretty and the quiet little towns and lovely little inn were just what we needed. This is where we stayed, and you should too!!

4. The mother-in-law came for a few days. It was the first time she has seen our house, so it was fun to show her all of our projects and go and do. We even made a trek up to Vermont (again) to the Joseph Smith Birthplace memorial. It's the church history site that is the most out of the way for most, but is the closest to us! It was nice to see her and get to know her a little better.

That seems to be all I know. And that's ok, because I'm on vacation. So there. :)

I DO NOT NEED THESE PLATES. I DO NOT NEED THEM IN YELLOW, NOR DO I NEED THEM IN NAVY BLUE. I DON'T EVEN NEED THEM IN PLUM.

Really, I don't!

someone please tell me that I need these...please?

Treasures!

Yesterday, I came home from some errand-running to find a TREASURE BOX waiting for me on the deck!! It was made of brown cardboard and lovingly sent from my mother and my closet :).

(The back story here, just fyi, is that my bedroom at my parent's house is being usurped for the indeterminable future and all of my things are being moved out (thankfully not thrown out, at least!) and taken down to make room for said usurpers. Don't ask me about that, I don't want to talk about it.)

Anyway, I opened the box to find all sorts of wonderful, heartwarming, nostalgic things!! Among them were the swim-fin key chains that hung from my backpack in high school, my competitor's deck pass for the state swim meet during sophmore year, my young womanhood recognition medallion, and various and sundry other things that put a smile on my face.

But what put the biggest smile on my face was this:



My three and four year old journal!! When I was little, I would sit down every week, usually with my dad, and dictate to him what I wanted to go in my journal for that week. Just to share some of my joy with you, this is what I wrote almost exactly 23 years ago:

January 31, 1988

I did quite a bit of swingset playing on this week, and Daddy pushed me really high--clear up into the tangerine branches! Sometimes I call them "reenies." I like to eat them. So does Sarah.

Friday night we got to go watch Daddy play basketball at the Stake Center. We got to have pizza for supper after the game.

I got my report card from pre school this week. Mrs. Nichol said I was really doing well in lots of things. I am starting to learn how to write my name. I would like to learn how.

:) This may seem ordinary, but I can't begin to describe how happy this makes me! It is truly a treasure!

Today Is A Popcorn Day

It is.

When I lived in Austin, I had the best teaching colleagues I could have ever hoped for. We understood each other and we understood that some days...well, some days are popcorn days. Each of us kept a stash of boy scout microwave popcorn in our classrooms. On "those days" we would all find our way to one of our respective classrooms at the end of the day. We would pop some popcorn, shut the door, and not open it for anything or anyone until we'd had some popcorn and some peace.

Snow Day, Part 4: Let's go for a walk.

First off, I have mixed feelings about today's snow day:
1. Mmm, sleeping in is nice :)
2. Yes! another 4 day week!
3. Do I really have to re-write my lesson plans again?!
4. It's SO pretty oustide!
5. My snow shovel is getting tired of shoveling, (not to mention its wielder...).
6. 4 feet of snow in the past 2ish weeks?! Seriously?!
7. At least it didn't come all at once.
8. Mmm, sleeping in is nice :)

That said, after my buddies snow shovel, snow blower, and I finished clearing snow, I strapped on my snow shoes and went for a walk! I brought 4 foot tall snow shovel with me for reference. Well, that was the original idea anyway. He ended up serving as a walking stick, mostly.

BEHOLD! Our beautiful snowy woods! Notice that the giant rock is completely buried!

Now, just for reference, here we have the same-ish scene (viewed from the bedroom) in summer:

Now in the summer, I can pretty easily ride the lawn mower under the lowest branch of the peach tree (it's the one on the left).


Not so, right now. Even wearing my snow shoes the snow still was deeper than my knees!

If this keeps up, the whole house might disappear under the snow. (Exterior improvements to happen if summer ever gets here).


The snow makes our new siding and paint on the front look extra nice :)

If you look closely you can see a kitty cat peering out, wondering what the heck I am doing.

This is what it looks like when you leave your snow shovel walking stick somewhere and you fall down wearing snow shoes in deep snow:
Oops. It may or may not have taken me a full two minutes to get back on my feet.

Finally, I decided to have pity on the poor UPS guy who tends to make semi-regular stops at our house. I dug him a channel through the giant wall of plowed snow from the road.
Husband keeps saying he is going to train the kitties to tunnel holes in the snow for us, but I'm not seeing it.

Snow Day!

Monday evening, on my way home from work, I received a pleasant, although not altogether surprising phone call. This gist of it went something like this: "Due to the forecasted inclement weather, district employees should not report to work tomorrow." I spoke a cheery thank-you to the automated voice on the other end of the phone, and as I was pulling into my driveway, the little white flakes of "inclement weather began to drift down from the clouds. After a leisurely sleep in, my first glance out of my window revealed this:



Hooray!! A breathtakingly beautiful foot or more of snow, and still falling steadily! After taking a few moments to appreciate the beauty, my feet reminded me how cold they were, so I went off in search of my slippers. With my feet warm again, I took advantage of the long morning to make some french toast and eat it by the fire already already crackling in the fireplace. Bryant did have any. He wanted cereal instead. (Might that be because he made out of bed about an hour before me and didn't want to wait around for some breakfast? Possibly. Probably. Oh well. I ate his piece for him.)

Later on, in the spirit of being helpful and productive (and warm...) I decided to put on my boots and coat, take up my shovel, and dig out the wood pile. Now, this was to be no easy feat, as I discovered when I opened the door to find snow piled up to my knees (and still snowing)! Nonetheless, I accomplished my task, but discovered to my great surprise, that my thoughts were not full of mutterings and complaints surrounding my least favorite task, but rather, full of joy in my productivity and appreciation for the beauty and the muffled, peaceful silence that only snow seems to be able to produce.

So I thought "well, maybe I'll just shovel the walkway and deck while I've got my shovel going here..." and went to town on the three foot drift covering the steps. Child's play. When I made it to the top of the deck, Mr. Flowerpot Frog in his own snowstorm headdress, austerely agreed:

"Well done. Now go, thou and plow the driveway"

Well, since you asked nicely...

Somewhere in the driveway plowing process (probably around the time I realized that my hair was frozen and that I couldn't feel my rear end), that nice, serene snowfall mindset got lost. But I had come so far, and the snow had almost stopped, so I "plowed on through" (ha haaa...) to the finish. This is what I looked like 5 minutes after coming inside:

See? I told you my hair was frozen. I think yesterday's mascara adds a nice touch as well.

I spent the rest of my snow day as one should spend a snow day, that is to say, thawing my frozen cheeks (both sets) by the fire and reading a fantastically pointless book.